There Are Many Reasons

by Barry Drogin

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There Are Many Reasons (a camp song to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne")

We're here because we're forced to come
- And we can't get out of here,
We're here because we're forced to come
- And we can't get out of here.
We're here because we're too stupid to figure out what to do between school years
- And we need an authority to structure this period of our lives for us,
We're here because we can't act responsibly when left to our own devices
- And we'd end up vandalizing local hospitals.
We're here because we still let our parents tell us what to do
- And we're too insecure to disobey and maybe even find our own apartment,
We're here because we're minors and considered only half-citizens
- And we might as well go along because there's nothing we can do about it.
We're here because our parents think we should be here
- And they need someone else to look after us because they have their own lives to lead,
We're here because our parents don't want us underfoot or vandalizing local hospitals
- And we're so rotten we tend to drive them crazy.
We're here because our parents have paid money to the camp
- And we might as well get our money's worth,
We're here because our parents think we should be here
- And our parents are occasionally right.
We're here because we get to go swimming
- And maybe we'll even learn how to avoid drowning,
We're here because it's hot in the summer and swimming tends to have a cooling effect
- And we're mindless enough to jump into freezing cold water and think it's good for us.
We're here because we like to play sports
- And sports contain definite definitions of approval and disapproval though the rules are arbitrary and meaningless,
We're here because we get a chance to exercise and strengthen our bodies
- And we have so much excess energy that we don't know what to do with it.
We're here because the social environment is freer than at school
- And otherwise we'd be sitting alone watching television all summer,
We're here because all our friends are here, too,
- And we may get to form some new friendships.
We're here because camp is fun
- And we might as well have as much fun as we can before we grow up,
We're here because we're allowed to exercise our nastier and more obscene natures
- And sometimes the adults act shocked and give us attention.
We're here because we are not there
= And, semantically, it is impossible to be "there" in the present tense without actually being "here,"
We're here because we followed a guarded route leading us here
- And we did not escape en route.
We're here because we're here because we're here because we're here
- And these "words" are symbols representing a physical state of being we are engaged in,
We're here because we just happen to be here
- And all is meaningless so why search for a reason?

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Last Updated: August 4, 2007