GENERATIONS Copyright (C) 1997 by Not Nice Music
III. POEMS FROM A THREE YEAR SOPHOMORE by Barry J. Drogin

4.  The NSF Program

(to the tune of "The Streets of Laredo")

When I first enrolled in the NSF Program
I was quite impressed by Rakow and LeMee
They preached the high gospel of Competence Training
And told me that I'd learn to love it some day.

We took a few tests which were rather amusing
They'd play us some music then give us a quiz
From this we'd be labeled "Intuitive" or "Thinking"
Of course I was neither but which of us is?

Are?

The very first course with with Professor Stecher
Who gave us an inkling of what was in store
Five seconds late warranted explanation
Ten seconds late and you had to withdraw.

Physics was hard, the problems were harder
But up on the blackboard they went every week
You had to explain it and open for questions
Oh, this Project SHAPE was not one for the meek!

One must mention Winston and his AV conspirators
Twas their fault we first did appear on TV
I called up my parents, the rest of the family
And told them, "Tonight I'll be on Channel Three."

The Spring turned to Fall after turning to Summer
(A season that whizzed by with nary a care)
The semester started with three brand new courses,
LeMee, still with accent, Rakow, without hair.

This new term brought with it some new SHAPE disciples
Bumbalo and Swann at the head of the pack
A whole crop of freshmen enrolled, unassuming,
Have found out that now it's too late to turn back.

In one class we learned about Indian suffering
(Of utmost import to a good engineer)
And some nights we went to a poetry reading
Preparing ourselves with a few rounds of beer.

Now, I'm not a Freshman so I have not taken
EID 101 when affixed with a star
I could make a comment, but thought better of it,
Primarily 'cause you-know-who's playing guitar.

Lab was SO fun, we had panel discussions
With Bumbalo teaching us how to use tact
He'd command attention by talking straight to us
Then distribute fliers for his new show, "Class Act."

We handed in Labs to two graduate students
One gave us all high marks, the other did not
One was inspiring, encouraging and flattering
Which shows that a grad needn't be such a snot.

But now the term's over and it's time for vacation
The NSF Program slowly fades inthe west
We're just as incompetent as we were back in high school
Unless proven otherwise by that Final Project SHAPE Test!