I have been informed trough highly scientific sources that somewhere in the world there is somebody just like me. He looks like me, he walks like me (much too fast), he talks like me (much too fast), he thinks like me. If he is around somewhere I would like to ask him a few questions. First of all I want to make it clear to him that this world isn't big enough for both of us. Do you hear that? All right, all right, if you want to get tough about it I'll leave. But first... the questions. When are you going to come out with all the comebacks to the wisecracks I've been making? It makes me nervous just thinking about that. If you're writing a book about us, for heaven's sake publish it already! I'm holding mine back until yours comes out. Are you looking for IT? (He'll know what THAT means- we understand each other.) Are you going to college and taking the same courses I am? I told you the world isn't big enough... oh never mind. Tell me- do you paint? Do you write bad poetry and worse light verse...? Tell me- do you drive... play Pingpong... watch television... listen to music... do lab reports...? ...all day long? You do? I told you- the world isn't... all right... all right. Tell me- do you love the same... no? Is there anyone you ha... no? Well I hope I'm like you. Gadzooks- are you a character also... ? Are you a pretty bad da... yep I thought so. You don't smoke... drink... you don't curse either! Boy, I was beginning to get worried. If you're like me okay... but things could get disgusting. Do you like to take long walks? Do you like to sleep? Boy, tell me, on cold nights do you curl... you do? Do you like math, physics, motorboats, rocketships, ...er lollypops? Ye Gods! Where are you going to work? I warn you there's only room for one insulting engineer in this state. Okay, I don't want to work there anyway. Tell me: Do you fill your fountainpen wih black... you do? Are you practically blind with... You are? Do you wear... Oh no! Are you like me in practically every possible way? Then I just want to ask you one more thing. Tell me... How do you stand it?